Thursday, August 16, 2007

Emerge

(Emerge, Pastelbord, Colored Pencils, 5" x 7")

This painting shows how I sometimes feel when I am learning something new—like colored pencil paintings; or doing something different—like returning to college at this stage in my life; or setting ambitious goals—like one hundred consecutive blog posts and eighty art pieces. I feel as though I am emerging from my place of comfort. On the one hand, I am excited to see what is ahead; but on the other hand, I am uncertain and afraid of the challenges or changes I may need to face.

As a quilter for thirty years, producing art quilts and fabric postcards are fun and easy because I am not learning the techniques and creating at the same time. In contrast, because I am new to colored pencils, I am learning different techniques—burnishing with colorless blenders, brushes, or solvent; experimenting with different brands of colored pencils—oil-based pencils versus wax-based pencils, or watercolor pencils; or working on different grounds—Stonehenge or pastelbord. Like learning to quilt or learning to ride a bike, learning something new takes time, dedication, practice and exploration.

Returning to college at this stage in my life, especially with my health challenges, does not seem smart. I could save myself a lot of anguish and stress and just enjoy my family, hobbies and traveling. Starting an art journal blog seems like a fun and terrific idea because it would be combining two things I enjoy—writing and art. However, sharing me with the world is scary. Writing in a bound journal is safe and private. Many of you know that I am a “very” private person, and sharing my innermost thoughts and ideas on a public blog is a major step outside the box because I am now subjecting myself to scrutiny, judgment, and criticism. Hoping that I may be inspiring others helps me overcome this fear.

Learning something new, doing something different, or setting ambitious goals are different ways we experience growth. Each of these different ways demands that we change in some way. Change can be scary because we must leave our comfort zones. By leaving our comfort zones, we subject ourselves to making mistakes and experiencing many challenges. Nevertheless, we will gain wisdom if we are brave enough to “emerge” from our comfort zones. That is my hope.

2 comments:

su said...

I'm cheering you on, Fannie! Many of the thoughts and feelings you're experiencing are familiar to me. Just like posting for the first time on ST. In my own little corner of my own little world.... it's so safe....and I can be what ever I want to be!!!

You're emerging just beautifully!
Su

Fannie said...

Hi, Su,

Thanks for visiting. :)

Yes, it is safe to be in our own little world.

Your first post in ST of your son Philip is beautiful. I'm glad I found it while scanning the new posts. Excellent work!

You are emerging beautifully as well!